Thank you for allowing me the privilege and responsibility of being a mother. I know that it wasn’t an easy decision for you to make. In fact, it took you eight long years to make it. Maybe you felt that I wasn’t ready. The waiting was hard, but I had faith in your plan for me – even though I had no idea what that might be.
I remember the exact moment when I learned that I was pregnant. It was just a few days before Mother’s Day in 1993. I was sitting in my sunroom, having my morning coffee when I got the call. When the telephone rang, I didn’t want to answer it. I had been disappointed so many, many times before. But on that day, thanks to you, I finally heard the words that I’d longed to hear. The waiting was over, and my life changed forever.
I reveled in being pregnant! Each day was such a gift! The sun shone brighter; the grass grew greener; and the flowers bloomed in Technicolor. It was also the only time I can remember when I was actually encouraged to gain weight! I didn’t even mind the heartburn or the various other…um…gastrointestinal issues that cropped up. That time was fraught with anxiety too. With every little twitch or twinge I felt, I was convinced that something was wrong. I had my obstetrician on speed dial and burned up the phone lines calling her daily for reassurance.
Do you remember the time I had my first Braxton-Hicks contractions and thought I was in premature labor? I raced home and put myself on bed rest! I also made Mr. SGCC sit there with me for two solid weeks playing gin rummy to distract me. What a dork I was! What about that one day I was reading What to Expect When You’re Expecting, and the book suddenly flew off my lap? I looked down and saw, as plain as day, the outline of a tiny, little foot poking out of my swollen belly. I think that was the moment I realized the magnitude of the miracle you had given me.
When it was time to go to the hospital to give birth, I experienced fear like I’d never imagined before. I didn’t know how to take care of a baby! What if I couldn’t do this? What if something went wrong? What if I turned out to be a terrible mother? I felt so unprepared and inadequate! But in the delivery room, you stayed with me and held my hand the whole time. And when the doctors told me that I needed a C-section, you whispered in my ear that it would be all right. I trusted you, like I always had, and felt the calm wash over me.
I’ll never forget when they put my precious, beautiful baby girl in my arms for the first time. She had a full head of soft, wavy hair and the most perfect little ruby-red, rosebud lips. I never knew I could feel such utter and complete bliss! Mesmerized, I gazed at my baby’s sweet face, as Mr. SGCC frantically counted all of her fingers and toes. (I’m not sure why. I think his mother told him to do it.)
For the next eighteen years, I shared my baby’s triumphs and sorrows. I laughed with abandon when she was happy, and cried rivers of tears when she was sad. I even felt physical pain when she got hurt. I still do. But, each ounce of joy has been worth every pound of heartache.
Motherhood has had it’s challenges. It’s been both the most rewarding and most difficult work I’ve ever done. I haven’t always known what to do, or had the right answers. I know I’ve made mistakes. But, I’ve always tried my best. And, you were always there to guide me along the way. Thank you for that too!
Remember when we almost lost our daughter in an auto accident last November? That was the second time I experienced unimaginable fear. Seeing my child lying bruised and broken was almost too much for me to bear. All those months during her recovery took a toll on me – mentally and physically. There were days when I didn’t trust my own legs to support me. Those were the days that I could feel you holding me up and gently pushing me forward. I couldn’t have done it without you, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
In a few weeks, my beautiful girl will be graduating from high school. Soon after, she’ll be going off to college to start a whole new chapter in her life. I pray that her father and I have prepared her well for what lies ahead. However, I know that when she stumbles, you will be there to hold her up too. And, if she should struggle with self-doubt, you’ll surely take her hand and whisper in her ear as well. Thank you in advance for that.
Mother’s Day is recognized as the day that we honor the women in our lives who birthed us, raised us, nurtured us, and most importantly, who loved us. We treat our moms with flowers and gifts and fancy restaurant meals. I don’t care too much about those things. All I want for Mother’s Day this year is to know that my child is healthy and happy, and that you are watching over her. I believe that you are. And for that, Dear God, I am eternally grateful.
All My Love,
P.S. Hope you like the sweet treats!