I have to tell you, people, I never intended to publish this post.  Ever hear of Murphy’s Law – If anything can go wrong, it will?   Well, that’s how it was for me from the first moment I decided to make this Coconut Fro Yo.   First of all, when I took the tub of yogurt I’d bought out of the fridge to make the base, I noticed that it had expired.  Actually, it was already expired when I bought it the day earlier, only I didn’t notice.   I’m usually a very diligent label reader, but on that particular day I was in a hurry and didn’t check the expiration date.   My bad.  Except the %*#@ing supermarket employees shouldn’t be stocking expired items on the shelves. This was not the first, second or even third time I have seen this.  I think that they’re so worried about the bottom line, that they keep those old products out, banking that most shoppers that get one won’t bother to take it back.  Either that or the stock guys just can’t read.    I know we’re in a recession, but poisoning your customers with spoiled dairy products is not the way to boost sales! 

I did return the yogurt.  And then when I went to get another tub – they were completely out of the kind I needed.  UGH! So, I had to drive out of my way to another store to find it.  Now keep in mind, that the yogurt I was looking for was just regular Greek yogurt, and not some fancy, gourmet kind.  Just any old brand of plain, whole milk, Greek yogurt.

By the time I finished driving around looking for the yogurt, I was too aggravated to make the fro yo.  So, I put the Greek yogurt in the fridge for later.  The next day, when I took it back out for my second fro yo making attempt, about a third of it was gone.  Yes, gone.  As in someone ate it.  And of course, no one would admit to it either.  Not even Bella.  I’m not pointing any fingers, but I know for a fact that it wasn’t me.

Hmmm. Come to think of it, Bella does look a little guilty, doesn’t she.

So, off I went again to the grocery store to buy another tub of yogurt.  I went back to the same place I had gotten it the day before, and guess what?  They were now out of it too.  I kid you not, people.   While reciting the Serenity Prayer to myself, I drove back to the first store again, hoping that they now had the yogurt.  They did.  And, the expiration date was three weeks away.  So, I grabbed two tubs and ran.

I finally had plenty of yogurt, and went to get a can of coconut milk out of the pantry.  Only now guess what?  No coconut milk.    How could this be?  I always keep a stash of coconut milk!  I never don’t have any coconut milk!  Except for last Thursday, apparently.

ARGHH!

I hopped back in my car and drove back the the market for coconut milk.  I bought three cans.  I also bought a bag of flaked coconut.  I was pretty sure I already had one at home, but I wasn’t taking any chances.

Finally armed with all of the necessary ingredients, I whipped up a batch of the most indescribably delicious coconut frozen yogurt ever – and promptly ate half of it on the spot.  Did I mention I was a stress eater?  The other half went into the freezer to firm up.

Later, when I was trying to photograph the fro yo, was when things really started to go wrong.

I decided to go for a “tropical” feel for the shots. I toasted some coconut to sprinkle on top of the fro yo.  I dug out a brightly colored bamboo mat and bowl, as well as a cute, pink, paper drink umbrella like you might find at your friendly, neighborhood tiki bar.   I set up the first shot, taking great care to get the light just right.  The sunlight was streaming in the window at two o’clock, and my foil covered foam board was positioned directly opposite to bounce the light at just the right angle.  The finishing touch was a matching spoon jauntily perched on the side of the bowl to make the suggestion that the fro yo was about to be consumed.  I took a few test shots to make sure that all of my settings were spot on.

And then…

Kerplunk!

The foam board fell over on top of the fro yo, and the smushed fro yo toppled over.  I scooped it up and threw it in the sink.  And then, I went shopping.

Two days later, I looked in the freezer and there was still some fro yo left in its container.  I got this crazy idea that maybe I could still get a few decent shots of it.  Maybe the tropical theme idea wasn’t meant to be.  Maybe an Asian theme would be better.  There was coconut milk in the fro yo.  Yeah!  An Asian theme was the ticket!

I shifted gears and set up a new coco fro yo scenario.  I used some pretty little black bowls that I’d picked up in San Francisco’s Chinatown last Fall.  I found a blue drink umbrella and a sweet little matching blue spoon.  This time, after I scooped the fro yo into a bowl, I froze it so that it wouldn’t fall over so easily – just in case…

Again, I set the shot up just right.   This time I used a black background to eliminate the need for sunlight and the foam board.  I placed one of my studio lights on one side of the bowl and took a few more test shots.  I liked what I saw!  Then, I stepped back, steadied my tripod and…

Bella ran in, bumped the tripod, which bumped the light, which fell on top of the fro yo, which knocked it to the ground, which mashed it into the carpet and chipped my beautiful bowl.  The last thing I remember as I ran out of the room screaming was Bella licking the fro yo off of the rug.

And that, my dear readers is why I never intended to write this post.

But, then I realized that it just wasn’t fair of me not to share this super rich, smooth and luscious frozen treat with you.  Especially not in the dead of summer.  No, no, no!  I couldn’t have that on my conscience.  So, here it is – the most incredibly scrumptious coconut frozen yogurt made with just three ingredients.  There are no thickeners, stabilizers, emulsifiers or any other additives.  It’s a cinch to make, and you don’t have to drive anywhere or wait in a long line to get some.  A series of unfortunate events and blurry, mismatched photos aside, I think it was the right thing to do. Don’t you?

One thing that has always fascinated me is the art of making charcuterie.  For years, I have longed to learn the craft of salting, smoking, curing and drying large, fat-laden slabs of meat.  I’d even bought a copy of Michael Ruhlman and Brian Polcyn’s,  definitive tome on the subject, Charcuterie: The Craft of Salting, Smoking, and Curing.  Late at night, I would greedily pore over those pages, lusting after each photo and dreaming of someday presenting my loved ones with my own delicately spiced and perfectly balanced versions of sopressata, guanciale, pâté and confit.  I discovered other like-minded, charcuterie-loving bloggers as well – trailblazers in the metamorphoses of pork, duck and foie gras.

Until very recently, I have only admired those adventurous, bacon curing, salumi making souls from afar – never daring to venture into those uncharted waters myself.   Then, I found out about Charcutepalooza, a   twelve month blogging extravaganza devoted to celebrating the “elegant craft of salting, smoking and curing” meat.  Each month, the group tackles a different type of charcuterie, using Ruhlman’s book as a guide, and the participants each post about their experiences.  With over three hundred members and counting, Charcutepalooza is a great opportunity to explore, learn and share the ins and outs of homemade charcuterie.

I sat on the fence for a long time before I decided to join the group.  I worried that I wouldn’t have the time or the resources to follow through.  I also worried that the hot, muggy climate I live in wouldn’t be conducive to hanging and curing meat.  And, I was really afraid that I might unwittingly kill someone with my carnivorous creations!   However, when I finally found a local source of fresh duck and pork bellies, I threw caution to the wind and signed on.

I had already missed the first Charcutepalooza assignment, which was making duck prosciutto.  I decided to start there anyway as the process looked pretty easy.  It seemed like a good way to get my feet wet, and the end result sounded pretty awesome.

Little did I know then that my plans would soon go awry.

I prepped my duck breasts…

…covered them in kosher salt, and let them sit in the fridge for twenty-four hours.

Then, I rinsed and dried them thoroughly.

After that, I wrapped them in some unbleached cheesecloth and tied them up with butcher’s twine.

I measured the weight of each breast at the start of the process and every other day after that, carefully recording the results.   The prosciutto is supposed to be ready to consume after it has lost a third of it’s weight.  This is supposed to take about a week, but after two, mine still needed more time.

When I started out, the weather here was still hovering in the mid fifties, so I found the coolest spot in my house and literally hung those duck breasts out to dry.   And yes, that is a pasta drying rack that my duck breasts are hanging from.  Since I rarely make fresh pasta these days, I was glad that I could put the rack to good use.  I think they look kind of cute – sort of like an eclectic pair of great, big, meaty earrings.  Quick!  Someone call Tim Gunn!

When the temperature started to climb, I moved the rack out to the garage, which stayed several degrees cooler.  Eventually, I had to break down and hang it in my garage fridge.  It was just too warm to leave it out anymore.

This is where things went horribly wrong.

The next day after storing my duck breasts in the garage fridge, I went out there to get them for their daily weigh-in.   When I opened the fridge door, the rack – and my duck prosciutto – were gone.

HUH!?!?

At first, I thought that someone must have taken out the rack to make some room, and left the breasts in there.  But, I couldn’t find them.  I took everything out of the fridge, thinking that maybe they had fallen behind something else.  Still nothing.  Then, I looked all around the garage, hoping that whoever moved the rack had accidentally left them out.   I found the empty rack, but no duck breasts.

I moved my search inside the house and, with the keen precision of Sherlock Holmes, hunted from room to room for clues.   But, the duck breasts were nowhere to be found.  They had simply vanished!

By this time I was getting a little panicky.    Was someone playing a cruel joke on me?  Was I losing my mind?  Did Bella suddenly develop thumbs and teach herself how to open the fridge?   Did some duck-loving burglar sneak into my garage in the dead of night and steal it?  All sorts of crazy scenarios ran through my head.

Later that day, I kicked into “lawyer mode” and cross-examined both Mr. and Mini SGCC.  Both of them vehemently denied having ever touched the duck breasts. They both seemed like they were telling the truth.  Mr. SGCC even looked a little sad about the fact that he wasn’t going to ever get to try my duck prosciutto.  Still, how well do I really know those two?

I tried to question Bella too, but she wasn’t talking.  Hmmm.  Come to think of it, she did look a little guilty…

It’s been several days now, and still no duck breasts.  I kept hoping that they would turn up somewhere, but no such luck.  I honestly have no idea what could have happened to those little suckers.  And, I was so looking forward to sharing my first attempt at curing meat with you too.  It could have been a beautiful thing, people.   What a disappointment!

My next charcuterie experiment is going to be Charcutepalooza’s February assignment: homemade bacon.  I actually saw Michael Ruhlman demonstrate how to do this last Fall at BlogHer Food, so I’m really excited about trying it.    I’m hoping to catch up with the rest of the group, so I’ll also be working on the March challenge, which is all about brining.  How does some homemade corned beef for St. Paddy’s Day sound?

After my duck prosciutto fiasco, you can bet that I intend to keep a very close eye on all future charcuterie endeavors.   But in the meantime, if you happen to see any small, stray, cheesecloth-wrapped bundles of duck prosciutto lying around, or spot Lady Gaga sporting an eclectic pair of great, big, meaty earrings,  please let me know A.S.A.P.!   I’m willing to share.

I always try to keep it real here at SGCC.  Sometimes, that means sharing my flops as well as my successes – and believe me, there are quite a few flops!

Remember this?

How about this?

Yessiree, things don’t always flow smoothly in my kitchen!  But, that’s okay. We learn from our mistakes. And if that’s true, dear readers, I must be the smartest person on earth!

So when things didn’t turn out quite as planned while making these cupcakes, I decided to tell you about them anyway.  Because they were still delicious.  Because s*%t happens.  And, because the truth will set you free.   Here’s how it went down. 

A few months ago, I “liked” Dolce Nonna’s fan page on Facebook.  Dolce Nonna produces a line of artisanal food products, including marinated peppers, string beans and eggplant.  The products are all natural and made by hand.  They reminded me of the “giardiniera” that my grandmother used to make.  She would take a mix of fresh vegetables, simmer them in vinegar, sugar, water and spices until crisp-tender, and jar them.  Her giardiniera was wonderful on an antipasto tray or as a complement to any meal.

Before I ever got around to ordering any of Dolce Nonna’s products, I got an email from her letting me know that I been selected to receive a gift of her newest product – Succulent Spiced Pears.  Woo hoo!  Since I never win anything, I usually don’t bother to even try for giveaways. This time, I didn’t have to do a thing – and I won!

About a week later, the FedEx guy arrived at my door bearing three jars of Dolce Nonna’s Succulent Spiced Pears.  After I gave him a big kiss (not really, but I wanted to), I opened up a jar and fished out a few slices to try.  I liked them.  I really, really liked them!  They were sweet and spicy and just the tiniest bit “herby”.  Peering into the jar, I saw chunks of fresh ginger, cinnamon sticks and anise seeds.  Nice!

I served the rest of the jar alongside some grilled pork chops that night.  A perfect combination!  I saved one jar for snacking.  And, I made these Succulent Spiced Pear Streusel Cupcakes with the third.  I thought about giving one jar away, but they were too good to share.

To make the cupcakes, I mixed and matched a few different recipes and then added my own touches.  For the cake and streusel filling, I used a coffee cake recipe from the King Arthur Flour web site.   For the crumb topping, I used an old recipe from the New York Times.  And, for the spiced pear filling, I used my imagination.  None if these steps was very difficult. Except the using my imagination part.  That one kind of hurt my head a little.

The first thing you need to do is make all of the different cupcake components.

Here’s the crumb topping.  I could eat it with a spoon.

I chopped up the pears and added some raisins to them, just because I felt like it.  I’m crazy like that.

Here’s how you build your cupcakes.

Fill each cupcake cup about one quarter full with cake batter.

Sprinkle on some streusel and fruit filling.

Then, pour some more cake batter over each one and put a generous handful of crumb topping on top.

And finally, bake them.

Uh oh!

Well, this certainly wasn’t what I had in mind!

Not even my prettiest cake stand and ten Hail Marys could save these.

This one was the best of the bunch. It only had one big, gaping hole in it.

So, where did I go wrong?  First of all, I was being lazy and I didn’t want to take the trouble to butter and flour my cupcake pan.  I also couldn’t be bothered to walk the ten steps to my baking cabinet and fish out some cupcake liners. Luckily, I was able to reach my nonstick cooking spray without stretching my arm too far, so I sprayed the pan with that. It was one of those fancy, expensive, gold nonstick cupcake pans from Williams-Sonoma, so I figured it would be okay. Big, big, big mistake! Those cupcakes stuck to that pan like it was lined with Super Glue!  I had to pry them out of the cups in chunks!  I also forgot to mix a little flour in with the fruit, and it sank to the bottom of the cupcakes like spicy little lead balloons.  On top of all that, I overfilled my cupcake cups and the batter bubbled up and oozed all over to rival Mt. Vesuvius.

Sigh…..

Oh, how I wish that these had turned out better!  Because if they looked pretty, you would most certainly be inspired to try them – and I so much want for you to try them.

So, do as I say and not as I do.  Butter and flour your cupcake pans.  Or better yet, use cupcake liners.  Toss a little flour in with your pears and raisins.  And, don’t overfill the pan.   But, please, please, please, make. these. cupcakes! You will love, love, love them!

Succulent Spiced Pear Streusel Cupcakes

Ingredients

for the streusel:  (adapted from King Arthur Flour web site):

1 cup brown sugar, light or dark
1 1/2 tablespoons ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon unsweetened cocoa powder, Dutch-process or natural (optional)

for the crumb topping:  (adapted from the New York Times)

1/2 cup dark brown sugar
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
Pinch of salt
1/2 cup melted butter
1 3/4-2 cups all purpose flour

for the pear filling:

1 jar Dolce Nonna’s Succulent Spiced Pears
1 tablespoon all purpose flour
1/2 cup raisins

for the cupcakes (adapted from King Arthur Flour web site):

3/4 cup butter
1 teaspoon salt (1 ¼ teaspoons if you use unsalted butter)
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
1/3 cup brown sugar
2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
2 teaspoons vanilla extract
3 large eggs
3/4 cup sour cream or plain yogurt
1 1/4 cups milk (anything from skim to whole)
3 3/4 cups all purpose flour

Directions

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Lightly grease a 12-cup cupcake pan or insert a paper liner into each cup.

To make the streusel: Mix together the brown sugar, cinnamon, and cocoa powder in a small bowl. Note that the cocoa powder is used strictly for color, not flavor. Leave it out if you like. Set aside.

To make the crumb topping: In a large bowl, whisk together sugars, spices, salt and butter until smooth. Stir in flour with a spatula. Press mixture together.  It will look like a solid dough. When ready to use, break topping mixture into big crumbs with your fingers, about 1/4 to 1/2- inch in size. They do not have to be uniform, but make sure most are around that size.

To make the pear filling: Drain the pears and reserve the liquid from the jar in a small bowl.  Pat the pears dry and dice into small chunks.  Place the diced pears in another small and toss with a tablespoon of flour. Set aside.

Add the raisins to the reserved pear liquid and let it sit for about 5 minutes or until the raisins plump up a little.  Drain and add raisins to the pears.  Set aside.

To make the cupcakes: In a large bowl, beat together the butter, salt, sugars, baking powder, and vanilla until well combined and smooth.

Add the eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition.

In a separate bowl, whisk together the sour cream or yogurt and milk till well combined. It’s okay if the batter is a little lumpy.

Add the flour to the butter mixture alternately with the milk/sour cream mixture, beating gently to combine.

Pour approximately 1 to 1 1/2 tablespoons of the batter into each cupcake cup (about 1/4 full).  Then, sprinkle about a teaspoon of streusel filling and 1 tablespoon of pear filling on top of the batter. Add more batter to the cups until each is about two thirds full.  Then, top each cup with some of the crumb topping.

Bake about 30-35 minutes or until lightly golden and a toothpick or cake tester inserted into the center comes out clean.

Remove the cupcakes from the oven and cool on a wire rack for about 15-20 minutes before removing and serving.

Makes 12-15 cupcakes.

Enjoy!

This is what happens when you try to multi-task by wrapping Christmas presents while you’re making homemade marshmallows to give as gifts.  The fire department wasn’t amused.  Neither was I.

More to come…….

or………make sure that you thoroughly cool your cake before you attempt to remove it from the pan.

Sheesh!